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Backwards | Onwards


Hello friends and fellow livejournalists.

I am currently in the airport in Phoenix, hanging out on an open wireless signal. It's filtered for indecency, so some things are unavailable to me. For example, g-mail is perfectly acceptable, but yahoo is entirely off limits. Also accessible to me: CNN, xkcd, Hulu, whedonesque, and livejournal. OKcupid...not so much. I find it funny.

Time to board. Here's a rundown of the what's what, thus far.

Have you ever seen that movie where the person, who happens to be going through some serious life stuff and the requisite self-evaluation that accompanies it suddenly returns home to see family they haven’t seen in years? In this movie, the protagonist is usually a person who seems to represent the polar opposite of everything that home stands for. Because of this, they end up in this endless series of implausibly comic situations. These comic situations are often intended to lighten the mood, because that person is usually home because someone died. The funeral is intended to give the movie some gravity.

Well. I’m living in that movie, right now. Since stepping off the plane in Phoenix, there has been a crazy string of incredibly random events, many of which have been genuinely hilarious.

Hilarity is good, otherwise this would be an insufferable experience. Between traveling from Baltimore to Philly, Philly to Phoenix, and Phoenix to Kingman on Thursday, I spent six hours in a car and six hours on a plane. At least driving from Phoenix to Kingman was interesting. In keeping with my monthly theme of stuff breaking down around me, nearly all of the computers at the car rental place failed the moment that I neared the counter. Once they got the car thing sorted out, mom and I headed out on to the highway that goes through Phoenix. She figured that things had changed so much since she made that 180 mile drive regularly, that she should get directions. We call my uncle Dennis, who was a motorcycle cop out here for a long time. He gave us directions that were indeed foreign to my mom, but we followed them. When we got out on to some of the backroads we needed, the greatest road sign I have ever personally witnessed stared me in the face. It was standard green and white, and looked just like this:

Cotton Road →
Prison →
Surprise →
Zoo →

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want surprises in prison.

At the McDonalds in Wickenburg (which is the least scary place to eat at 10:00 p.m. on a Thursday in said town), there were two big carafes of tea. One was labeled “Sweet Tea” and the other was labeled “Unsweetn Tea” We chose the latter, and I had a little salad and some fries for dinner. About twelve people came in just to use the bathroom. One woman stopped at our table, pointed at my salad, and excitedly said “oh! They have cherry pie now?!” I think the tomato looked awfully shifty or something. I didn’t eat it.

My mom was too tired to drive, so I took over. This is a big deal for my mother, who hates to be the passenger with anyone. I was quite proud of her. I also got to drive this rental car in a legal 75 miles per hour zone. The desert is so dark at night.

More later.


( 2 best shots — Fire Away! )
Mar. 2nd, 2009 11:33 pm (UTC)
I would say "enjoy the trip", but...

I hope it goes well, for funereal values of "well", and that it's helpful to the people you're going for.

Oh, & I love the sign: I do like surprise zoos. I think.

Edited at 2009-03-02 11:34 pm (UTC)
Mar. 3rd, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
Yes. Things went well, to be expounded upon later. I will probably intersperse writing for me with writing for work all day today. It's what my brain and my wallet both agree we need.
( 2 best shots — Fire Away! )


Kelly and Sadie
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